All's Fair in Love and War and Peace
by melinda08
Summary: Yes, another short story based on my favorite episode, Sumner's Return. Diane decides to show Sam a little gratitude for his gesture, and what started off as a hellish week for Sam turned into the best weekend of his life.
1. Chapter 1

Sam was exhausted. After attempting to kill (not really, but after five days of reading the most boring, tedious book in history thanks to Cliff's recommendation) the mailman, Sam and Diane had retreated to her apartment, where they started to watch, appropriately enough, the VHS version of War and Peace.

Sam hadn't made it more than five minutes when his snoring began to drown out the sound of the characters' dialogue. Diane, ready to turn it off, stopped herself when she started to get caught up in the moment. It was a really pretty dull movie, she conceded.

But what Sam had done for her...no one had ever done anything like that before in all of her life. Yes, there had been suitors with more class, more intelligence, more money than Sam. But no one had ever quite captured her imagination the way Sam Malone had.

Her mother had chortled when she'd told her that she'd fallen for a ballplayer. Diane wouldn't know the first thing about baseball, and to her chagrin, Diane's mother had quickly been proven right.

But what her mother couldn't have predicted- what no one could have predicted- was that while Diane knew zilch about baseball, this particular evening she learned an awful lot about a certain ballplayer. And that man, how far he'd grown in such a short period of time, the lengths he went just to make her happy, his willingness to sit down for a dinner with that...that dud, Sumner, well, while Diane may not have fallen in love with the sport, there was a certain former player she'd become quite smitten with.

Money was one thing. Yes, she'd had suitors try to buy her affection, but at the day they were shallow, self-absorbed and immature. Not that Sam wasn't also those things, but he had something very different that those boys did not ever have a chance of getting. He'd won her heart, and it was easy to see why.

She finally turned off the tv, not wanting to go any further than her stretch of the couch. Sam, by this point, was leaning on her and quite involved in his deep slumber. It was quite apparent he wasn't going anywhere, and so neither would Diane.

It was kind of a pity. Sam loved to flirt and endlessly try to seduce Diane.

Maybe, just maybe she would return the favor.

"Sam?" she grinned and nudged him. He offered no response, so she grabbed the throw blanket and wrapped them both inside of the comfortable edges.

Oh well. There was always the morning. If Sam had made it those five difficult days of reading War and Peace, then certainly she could wait until the morning.

She glanced over at him again. He looked so darn cute, so appealing, that she could tell it would be a long night. If he should happen to wake up before morning...well, she'd make it worth his while.

After all, it was growing clearer and clearer to her that he most certainly was worth her while.

She kissed his forehead, put her hand on top of his, and closed her eyes, praying that morning would quickly arrive.

Fortunately for them both, Sam wasn't quite a sound sleeper...

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Once Sam woke up, albeit groggily, even in his sleepy state he couldn't help but notice the mischievous look in Diane's eyes.

"What's going on? Where am I?" he rubbed his eyes.

She smiled contently. "Do you know what you did for me?" Diane purred.

"I would have remembered! I swear I wouldn't lose track of that..." Sam protested.

"Oh, Sam, you're so naughty! No, silly goose, you read War and Peace."

"Don't remind me."

"Do you know why you read it?"

"Because of some horrible advice from a mailman who I'm not quite sure I haven't killed?"

Diane laughed. "No. Oh, Sam, you do know how to make me laugh."

"Now I'm glad we haven't done anything, or I'd be insulted."

She took his hand and kissed it. "You read it for me. You read War and Peace for me. Sam, I must confess I think I underestimated you."

"What, you didn't think I could read War and Peace?"

"I didn't think you could read, period."

He started to sit up, but her hand reached his chest. "I'm joking, Sam. Still, that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. You can't possibly know how grateful I am for you."

Now his eyes lit up. "Oh, yeah? How grateful? You mean you'll go to bed with me now?"

Laughter again. Then she looked at him with a seriousness he'd never seen on her face. "I'm going to repay you. I'm going to do something I've never done before."

"You're not going to give a boring speech on how right you are about something?" Sam laughed.

"No, silly. Be serious. How can I possibly preposition you if you're joking, and I'm clearly more serious than I've ever been in my life?"

Sam turned his attention to her. "Oh, yeah? This sounds promising."

"Sam, may I ask you a question?"

"I don't know...may you?" he laughed at his own joke.

"Sam!" Diane pouted.

"Okay, sweetheart, what is it?"

"Have you...oh, poo, I don't even know if I can ask this!" Diane took a deep breath. "No. I must. I want to. Sam, have you ever had a girl...do things?"

Puzzled, Sam responded. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Please. I want to know. I need to know."

"I've been around the block a time or two, if that's what you mean. But you knew that. I'm hoping you knew that."

She swatted him. "I think anyone within a fifty mile radius knows that. But I'm talking about...special things."

"I don't..."

"Sam...I've never done...certain things with a man, or more appropriately, to a man."

Sam's eyes widened. She couldn't possibly be referring to that, could she? "Diane, you aren't talking about..."

"Sam, please. This is difficult enough. I've never done a special thing to a man before."

Out of habit, he laughed. "You're kidding, right?"

Of course he knew she wouldn't joke about something like that, but the idea of what she was suggesting was turning him on so much, he covered his lap with the blanket to hide the evidence.

"No, Sam," Diane breathed in. "I've never done that. I want to do that...to you. Would you...would you like me to do that to you?"

"Hell, ya!" then he straightened up trying to discreetly adjust his arousal. " I mean, you don't have to. I like it, but I don't expect you to do that."

"Do other girls ...do that...to you? Wait, don't tell me. The look on your face tells me all I need to know."

"I'm not trying to hurt you, sweetheart. You're the one bringing it up. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

She looked at him and placed her hand beneath that blanket. "What if I want to? Do that, I mean. To you. And only you."

God, she was killing him. "You mean..."

As she started moving her hand around his arousal, she nodded. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

Sam hadn't been that excited since he was a teenage boy. "Oh, God, Diane, you don't know what you're in for! What I'm in for. I mean, what we're..."

She kissed him. "It's okay, Sam. I know what you mean."

Then she unzipped his jeans, and carefully placed her well-manicured hand between his skin and his boxers. Once she made contact, Sam thought he'd died and gone to heaven.

"Oh, God, Diane..." he murmured.

"Say it. Say my name," she ordered.

"Oh, Diane. Diane, Diane, Diane..."

"Now tell me you want this."

"Oh boy, do I want this. I want you, Diane," Sam continued.

He pulled down his jeans and shorts, and what was possibly the most divine experience of his life began.

Her lips met his body, first teasing with her tongue his trail around his navel. Continuing her trail of kisses, her mouth continued to tempt until she found her destination.

Her eyes widened, Diane sat up and began to quietly cough.

"It's okay, Sam. You really don't have to..."

"Ssh. I want to. Please, let me do this."

"All right," he giggled, then closed his eyes, sat back and relaxed.

As her head slowly and nervously bobbed up and down, Sam thought that he'd experienced everything when it came to sex before this moment. But he'd never had Diane Chambers do that to him before, either.

A few minutes of his personal heaven was about all she could muster. It really was most uncomfortable, and while not altogether unpleasant, it still made her more nervous than she'd ever dreamed of being.

"Oh, Sam. I'm sorry. I can't..."

He sat up. "It's okay, sweetheart. You were good."

She looked up. "Really?"

Smiling, Sam nodded. "Really."

"Do you want to make love?"

"I want to do something even better. I want to...I never thought I'd say this to a chick...I want to return the favor."

She opened her eyes. "You don't do that..."

"I have, cause...as a rule, I find it much more pleasant to receive than to give."

"Just because I did that...and not very well...you don't owe me anything. Really, I'm fine."

"Diane...you say I read War and Peace for you, and that means something to you. Well what you did is the same for me."

"I didn't spend five days doing it," she laughed self-consciously.

He joined her. "Please, Diane. Let me make you feel as good as you make me feel all the time."

With that, a warmth that she'd never experienced in her life before overtook her, and as she felt her body melt with his every movement, for the first time since meeting Sam, Diane began to think she just might be able to give her heart to him.

tbc


End file.
